Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Clearing the air...I think there's somthin' in it!

It's come to my attention since getting a journal over on LJ (and elsewhere as well) that people seem to have a lot of daft misconceptions about me. For instance I 'ave no idea why a bunch of my so-called fans seem to think I'm gay. Whether or not I am is no one's bloody business though I'm still puzzled as to why they think this. Even given the fact that my orientation or lack thereof is not up for public discussion I think I ought to make a few things crystal clear.

Regarding past sexual partners, not that it's anyone's business but there are a few things I think need to be said on this:

Peter Petrelli: I did not sleep with 'im. To young- at almost 'alf my age!, and we never would've 'ad time. Given I seem to be quoted, though I've no idea how, I 'ave to ask, did you all sleep through my speech about distractions? Seriously, people, I was 'is reluctant teacher and the kid told me 'e was gonna explode. Even if I'd considered doing that with Poodle, 'aving your partner explode is not an appealing option unless you're suicidal.

Noah Bennet: was my best friend, emphasis on the past tense. No I did not sleep with 'im, either. No age issue here. Near as I can tell 'e's straight, not to mention married. I do 'ave standards, not to mention the fact that Sandra was a good friend too and I'd never do something like that to a friend. Now, I'd shoot Bennet if I thought I could get away with it, an no, not with my willy. Get your minds out of the gutter people! Was thinking a 44 actually.

Thompson: Do I even need to get into this? 'e's a right bastard. 'nough said. And I was sittin' on 'is desk because there were no other chairs available, alright?

Dean Winchester
: No idea who that bloke even is. Honestly, if I'm gonna lower my guard enough to let someone get close enough for sex, I better bloody well know 'im (or 'er) and know that person very well.

Meredith: She set me on fire, literally! You think I would bed 'er after that?

Claire: Honestly do I even need to address this? I suppose I do. I'm not only old enough to be 'er father, I helped change her diaper a few times and the last time I saw 'er she was just a little girl. I don't go in for pedophilia. I also 'appen to consider Claire my niece, even if we're not blood related. I may 'ave issues but incestuous fancying is not one of them.

Don't know any of these, not even sure if any of these birds exist outside of fic.

And because some people are pretty sick...

The Pigeons: Yeah I care for them and about them but, honestly, if you think I'm doing more than guidin', feedin', and shelterin' 'em, you've got bigger problems than I can 'elp you with.

Not that I'm 'appy about it, but I know the Comp'ny and Elle Bishop 'ave managed to track me to London, England. (Thank you for making the map available, evsdropr.) I'm gonna 'ave to go elsewhere at some point and, no, I'm not tellin' you where. It has also come to my attention that my profile at the Comp'ny is now at least partially publicly available. While I don't like this fact, I would like to point something out: Chronic Avoidant Personality Disorder. You lot, got that? While it's ornate psychobable for my philosophy of "people suck" and I feel that it was a bit exaggerated by the 'ead shrinks over at the Comp'ny, it's not completely wrong. There's a reason, other than the fact that the shrinks can't 'andle Specials, that I got labled with that. Seriously, think about it: I spend most of my days avoiding people. Now some of would have it look as though I'm a gay/bi/straight Cassanova or what not. Are you lot promiscuous or what? You honestly think I'm gonna take my clothes off and be vulnerable with another person, or even a group of people? You 'ave got to be joking! It's not as if I can stop you lot writin' crazy fic, well I could, but that would give my location away and It's bad enough that Elle found me! Besides I need somethin' to read for a good laugh, though if you want the truth, ask me, and if I feel like it I may answer.

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